Tuesday, July 22, 2008

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Friday, July 18, 2008

What I'd Like For You To Know: The Mother Of a Stillborn Child

Molly Piper condenses her blog series on grieving the loss of her stillborn daughter, Felicity, over at Rocks in My Dryer. You can find it here: What I'd Like For You To Know: The Mother Of a Stillborn Child. I, of course, appreciate her insight and openness. I especially resonated with her thoughts on "I Want to Talk About Her" (Him), "Please Ask Specific Questions," and "Please Persevere."

After reading and thinking about this, I was reminded of how grateful I am for our family and friends who took care of us during the intensity of that 1st year of grieving. I know that we were not very comfortable to be around, not very fun, and we didn't have much in our reserves to give back to you. So, thank you for loving us with your words and deeds. You have no idea how they carried us through such a dark time. Even the small things meant the world to us: it let us know that we were not alone with this great burden and heart-break, that you too shared in missing Baby Paul, and that we would somehow get through. Thank you.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Arise!

One of our favorite things about our new church here is its focus on Grace. It is a new and refreshing focus for me. It makes for a very joy-filled, gracious church. Sometimes, I can focus so much on my sin and God's hatred of sin, that I forget to focus on His grace towards me. That there is now "no condemnation" for those who are in Christ. Sometimes I subconsiously think I have to work my way back to God. That if I havnen't prayed in a few days, or if I've been snappy, or if I've sinned in anyway, He couldn't possibly let me be in His presence. I have to get right before I go back to Him. This is just not true, and not in the Bible. God's love for me surpasses all loves. I could never know the depth. He also has forgiven me, and my sins have been taken care of on the cross. I bear them no more. This sets me free to live a life in thankfulness for this Grace that is hard to comprehend, but deeply wonderful. Below are the words to a song we sang this morning, that helped me to have a right mindset in worship. Even though I wasn't perfect before church, God used this song to remind me that I am free in Christ and no longer condemned.

Arise, My Soul, Arise

arise, my soul, arise - shake off your guilty fears.
the bleeding Sacrifice in my behalf appears.
before the throne my Surety stands
before the throne my Surety stands:
my Name is written on His hands.

arise! arise! arise,
arise my soul arise!
arise! arise! arise,
arise my soul, arise!
shake off your guilty fears and rise!

He ever lives above for me to intercede,
His all-redeeming love, His precious blood to plead.
His blood atones for every race
His blood atones for every race
and sprinkles now the throne of grace.

five bleeding wounds He bears,
received on calvary;
they pour effectual prayers,
they strongly plead for me.
"forgive them, o forgive!" they cry.
"forgive them, o forgive!" they cry,
"nor let that ransomed sinner die!"

my God is reconciled; His pardoning voice i hear.
He owns me for His child - i can no longer fear.
with confidence i now draw nigh
with confidence i now draw nigh
and "Abba, Father, Abba" cry.

arise! arise! arise,
arise my soul arise!
arise! arise! arise,
arise my soul, arise!
shake off your guilty fears and rise!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

It's a...

GIRL!
We'll scan and put up the pictures soon, because I know everyone loves to look at ultrasound pictures ;) We are excited for Hope to have a sister, and for the sweetness that little girls bring. It is a bit sobering to be the mother of daughters, but I am excited and challenged by the task. And I look forward to a bunch of girly adventures. Mark is a great Daddy for little Hopey and will continue to be a great daddy for our girls. We are all excited and warm and fuzzy here. She was very cute on the ultrasound screen. She had her arms in front of her face and was moving around. We're looking forward to the holidays!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Fourth of July

Here are some of our many pictures from Dunsmuir. We had a wonderful trip, and we were sad to leave. We spent the morning of the 4th at the Mt. Shasta "Fun Walk." It was very festive and fun. There were a lot of hippies who were the entertainment along the route, food samples, and a raffle at the end. We finished off the day with hamburgers, fireworks, and mosquito bites :)



Hope was a little overwhelmed by the crowd.

The family walking and waving.


Hope and Nannie in her festive hat.

Hope and Mommy walking.

The starting line!

On another note, this baby has been pretty active the last couple of weeks already. Tomorrow at 10am we are scheduled for an ultrasound, and to find out the gender of the baby! We are excited :)